sahabat, ini (mungkin) tentang satu hal yang sama. dari dua titik pandang.

kita ini pejuang mimpi.

awalnya kukira ini tentangmu.
kau pengelana yang rindukan tempat rahasia tanpa nama itu.
tempat tak terlihat, tapi kita yakini ada.
kau yang rindukan tebar benih bintangmu.
benih yang kau kumpulkan dalam tiap langkah perjalananmu.

lalu kemarin gelombang resahmu menyentuhku. sesaat kita tak berjarak.
kau yang terlalu lembut untuk dekatiku dengan arusmu.
dan aku menjadi angin yang terjatuh ke tanah lapang penuh ilalang.
tersadar bahwa tidak, mana mungkin kau anggap ini tentangmu. bagimu, ini tentangku.

tapi hei.
mungkin kita hilang bersama.
percayalah, tak hanya kau. aku juga.
mungkin potongan cerita ini bukan tentangmu dan tidak pula tentangku.

tapi kerlip asa itu.
untuk kau, aku, dan mereka.

sahabat, ini untukmu. helai-helai kata hati sebelum kutertidur tadi malam.
yang kuat ya... jangan dulu lepas tangguh kita. segalanya masih teramat indah :)

[..angin ini mengharap maaf. atas ketidaktahuannya. akan segala keterbatasannya.]

sungguh.

dari jauh.

memandang mereka yang luar biasa. terasa semakin jauh.
sungguh. kalian telah torehkan sesuatu di bumi ini.

akankah tergapai?

[...dan sungguh. bukanlah kumencoba menyaingi peri hujan yang selalu kau sapa.]

Peter Pan.

about a boy

peter pan is a boy that never grows up.
it is not that he cannot grow up.
he chooses not to grow up.
for he believes in his own reasons.
and i believe in those reasons.

because i always believe in
peter pan.

[...but i also believe that at times he doubts those reasons]

porcelain me.

pecah.

a blindman in the headachy Orchard. i wonder what he is looking for. and how great of power that takes him there.

[..i think that i'm often him. often. and i badly want to break this numbness into pieces.]

manusia!

sweetness.

10 pm. suddenly the phone sang the sound of stream water. and a familiar voice hundreds kilometres away threw the line "dut, komunikasi itu apa? definisi textbook". "kak, kirimannya udah nyampe. Udah aku pake lho ke les inggris. Kakak kapan pulangnya?"

little girl in the bus with an angel smile. she looked like adinda 16 years ago. cute ;) stared at me for minutes. finally she said to me, "kak. kak. kak kak". oh, she wanted to play hide-and-seek!

the anginmerahjambu that embraced just when i needed it the most. not just angin, but accompanied by the crescent moon and smiling stars.

but /something/ is missing. well. i shall try to go easy and smile :)

[...pasti ada sesuatu yang perlu disampaikan. entah apakah tersampaikan.]

water featuring a clock.

turned an ice block.

there's something wrong with myself lately. i think i'm frozen. melt me. please.
need to open my eyes. need to open my heart.

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick. peterpan said try to be persistent like the clock on the wall. i'm sorry, peterpan.

[...dan kemarin peri hujan kembali menyapa negeri landak. basah. cantik.]

trus gimana?

that talk about valentine's day

went to a mosque near the border of Malaysia-Singapore to listen to the nun-turned-ustadzah -partly for the sake of own's keterpurukan and partly for the sake of mere nationalism. wandered my mind to the matter of the dead crushed lizard more than the day's mythology that she was trying to feed us. words undelivered. and suddenly a line stroke me hard. forgot which surah or which ayat, but it roughly said:

do not comply to anything that you are unknowledgeable of the law/issues behind.

and HE certainly knows best of all matters.

[..so what about april stories?]

household chores!

bathroom.

you have two brushes: a BIG nice new one and a used toothbrush (which is small, given the size of my teeth). you can only use one.

................you thought the big nice new brush would compliment the bottle of scrub cream soap. moreover, it'd take less time. you brushed, you brushed, and you brushed while humming "..i'm on the top of the world overlooking down on creation.. lalala i'm the world's greatest" and voila. you thought you were done. you thought what a wonderful job you had done. you thought it was all squeaky clean.

[...but hey. not at all.]

inaugurator.

real options.

"...real options involve discretionary decisions or rights, with no obligation, to acquire or exchange an asset for a specified alternative price" (Leons Trigeorgis)

is this why we invest in university education?

[...and a friend -call him M- mumbled: Always remember M, always remember. You are studying for your children.]